I love the holidays. My childhood holidays were full of family fun, delicious food, and laughter. And by holiday, I will use my mom’s generous definition – any day can be an excuse for the three above items.
And yet, I have lived through some rough holidays after deep grief. I see the loneliness that seems more poignant when others are making merry. The data shows that the holidays are great for many, and sadder for those who are struggling. While food bank and financial struggles abound, I also mean the sadness and solitude that many of us, especially senior citizens, may be facing. Even in my darkest holiday moments, I could easily remember the joy of prior holidays while still feeling the grip of loss and grief.
On a walk with a friend recently, we talked about how we contain multitudes. Grief and sadness and loneliness can coexist with holiday joy and beautiful memories. Sometimes those emotions make each other more poignant. In another conversation with a senior loved one, she noted tearfully that several of her friends have died each year around this time. She worries about what this year will bring.
My team and I created some special services specifically for this time of year to help bridge connections when people can’t be together in person. We help family connect with seniors using FaceTime and What’s App, we help seniors make traditional dishes that have been missed in recent years, and we help memorialize recipes that other family members are desperate to have. We help folks with decorations and shopping. We find ways to make the hustle and bustle about conversation and companionship. We help seniors cook and host small dinner parties that bring back those host and hostess moments of joy.
I plan to spend extra time this December with folks who need the range of extra help – personal help and companionship. If you are worrying about your loved ones who may be grieving or alone this year, I hear you. I have the same concerns about some of my family. If you are frustrated that you can’t be in multiple places at once, I hope that you’ll consider finding live, in person support wherever your loved ones are living. Even if they are grieving and especially if they are alone. If you are in Northern Virginia, please reach out.
